Featuring gardening and management tips on How To Grow A Money Tree, and the perfect way to grow money on a tree.
Most people think money doesn't grow on trees. In fact, money won't grow on trees for these people, because they don't believe in the concept enough to figure out how to make it work! The science of growing money on trees isn't complicated, once you know what to do. But for the uninitiated, it can seem quite complex. Where do you go about starting the process of growing a money tree? Do you buy a sapling, or seeds? Or can you buy a fully grown money tree? How long before a sapling reaches maturity, and starts producing ones, tens, and twenties? Is there a way to coax a money tree into producing fifties, and even hundred dollar bills? Read on, and hopefully a few of these issues will be cleared up.
How To Start Growing A Money Tree
Ins And Outs of Holy Water
The first thing you need is Holy Water. Simple! So you just run on down to the nearest corner store, and ask the clerk to kindly direct you to the Holy Water aisle. Indeed, there needs to be a whole aisle for Holy Water, because there are many varieties and concentrations. Some containers will say Holy Water on the label, but its really just tap water supposedly blessed by the guys bottling it. We don't want that! We want top of the line stuff. So try to find the section where the containers in that area say Maximum Concentration. That stuff isn't cheap, but thankfully you will only need two gallons. The reason it's so pricey is that it was blessed by friends of the Pope! Why not the Pope himself, you ask? Whenever he blesses water, it immediately vaporizes so it can spread its divine quality throughout the world, as part of the atmosphere. The second-most powerful blessing leaves the water in liquid form, with the maximum divine power it can contain in such a state. So get two gallons, and bring them home.
Choosing A Proper Money Tree Location
The next step is to choose a suitable location for your tree. If it's at all possible, please try to find an area not easily viewable from the street, or from any location beyond your property. The reason for this bit of advice should be clear. We wouldn't want casual passers-by to suddenly freak out upon realizing that money can indeed grow on trees, and that you've actually got a money tree! If they don't have a heart attack due to the strength of the epiphany, they might just decide, in a moment of insanity, to rip off a branch or two from your beautiful plant! So pick a secluded area, if you can.
Blessing The Land
Next, you need to have the exact spot where you plan to dig blessed, professionally. It shouldn't be too hard to find a professional blessing company in the classified section of your local newspaper, but beware the ads printed IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. That is a sure sign of amateurity, and of a sub-standard blessing operation. You want actual professionals, and not just a hobbyist. A proper blessing requires three people. You, the professional, and the professional's assistant. The assistant acts as a sort of lightning rod for the energy the blessing requires, and channels it to his or her boss. The energy is subtly shaped by the attitudes and expectations of everyone involved, so your goal of a money tree will be imprinted on the blessing and focused by the professional directly into the ground where the tree will be situated.
Administering The Holy Water
Once the blessing is complete, you can send the blessers on their way, with an I.O.U. for payment, post-dated to accommodate the growth of your money tree. The next step is to wait for a full moon. At the stroke of midnight during the full moon, you must pour one gallon of Maximum Concentration Holy Water onto the area where your money tree is to grow. Twelve hours later, at the stroke of noon, you must administer the second gallon in the same fashion. This activates the seed of the tree, which was brought into existence during the blessing ceremony. (Ninety-nine percent of the time, a money tree will not produce seeds. A blessing ceremony is the only way around this problem.) The next actions you take depend on how you want the tree to develop.
Level Of Money Tree Development
Your tree can actually grow to maturity in as little as forty-eight hours, but the notes produced will be small bills, mainly ones, fives, and tens. That is enough for most people, and if you find out later you need more, you can always grow another money tree. But if you want your tree to produce mainly big bills, meaning twenties, fifties, and hundred dollar bills, the tree will take significantly longer to develop. You control the speed of development, and therefore the kinds of notes produced by your fully grown money tree, simply by an act of continuous, deliberate concentration.
The less you concentrate, the more quickly the money tree will develop, and the smaller the value of the notes produced will be. But if you continuously direct your mind's eye to the area of development, the plot where the tree is to grow, and imagine larger denomination bills coming from the fully grown tree, that design will become imprinted on the tree's genetic code, and the tree will ultimately reach maturity in about six to eight weeks. You must perform that act of concentration for at least five minutes an hour, and for at least twelve hours a day. Also, the more time you spend focusing each day, the more quickly a fully-loaded money tree will develop. You can slice the waiting time in half by increasing you periods of concentration to ten minutes an hour!
If you don't have the time or patience to concentrate on a more powerful money tree, and don't want to bother with a low-yield money tree, there are other options available to you.
Grow Money On A Tree - Secret Shortcuts To Success
Pay Someone Else To Grow A Money Tree In Your Yard
Instead of growing your own tree, you can pay someone else to do it for you! They'll organize everything, get the Maximum Concentration Holy Water, get the blessing ceremony, handle the full moon, and the concentration, and any other snags and problems that develop. You just sit back and relax, and within a couple of months, your tree should be capable of supporting you in whatever lavish lifestyle you choose. The issue with this method, though, is that typically the service of growing you a money tree demands a percentage of currency yield from the tree, for the entire lifetime of the tree, which is usually about thirty-five years.
Professional Money Tree Growers - The Big Time
If you'd rather have a one-off payment that secures you a money tree, and not have to worry about monthly payments, then simply buying a pre-grown money tree is for you! They usually cost between two hundred thousand and eight million dollars, depending on the degree of cultivation. After all, these money trees were developed specifically for sale to someone else, and in a business like that, revenue streams can get pretty high. Usually, a money tree developer and entrepreneur will hire a whole throng of people to do nothing but concentrate on a growing money tree all day. The five minutes per hour, twelve hours per day minimum of concentration is far exceeded, and the resulting tree is mammoth, gargantuan, and fantastic in size. It may interest you to know that such an entrepreneur usually cultivates whole orchards of money trees in such a way, and using these incredible plants, develops connections with the most powerful people in the world. So really, when it comes right down to it, two hundred thousand dollars for a professionally cultivated money tree, even one on the small side, is a real steal! That is, if you can afford it.
The Secret Tale Of Money Tree Island
So far we've covered the basics of growing your own money tree, having it grown for you locally, or buying a professionally grown one from elsewhere. There is one other option that usually isn't told to very many people, but I like you, and I think you can benefit from it. There is a story, a legend according to some, but it happens to be true, and it concerns a land in which every tree is a money tree.
The Great Depression
During the Great Depression, when securing gainful employment was extremely difficult, a group of explorers decided to leave America for parts unknown, hoping to discover a land with untapped resources. They traveled by sea, and at one point their compass went haywire. They somehow stumbled into an area not known on any map, which was hidden due to a situation involving ocean currents that diverted normal travelers, a fog that obscured sight, and a magnetic disturbance that impaired the function of any normal compass. As luck would have it, one of the explorers was quite gifted intuitively, and was able to avoid the variety of deterrents, and guide his team and ship to land -- a hidden, unknown, and uninhabited land.
The explorers were disappointed to learn that the land they'd discovered didn't seem to have the characteristics of a location with oil deposits, gold, diamonds, coal, or any other harvestable item. The soil was rich, and yet there were no trees. One of the explorers knew how to make a money tree, and had simply been too concerned back in America about whether he'd be able to keep a money tree secret from all the desperate folks around long enough to bring it to maturity in proper fashion. Indeed, in the years prior, he'd tried his hand at cultivation, but at the sign of the first dollar being produced, the tree was typically ravaged by persons unknown. Here, on this new island, the man knew his group had found a safe haven, and so he shared with them his idea for growing a money tree. Incredulous and hopeful, the team lamented the fact that there was no holy water. But suddenly, the intuitive gentleman who helped locate the island in the first place revealed that he'd once met the Pope, and made friends with the kinds of people who usually Maximize the Concentration of Holy Power in liquid water. That talent he too had learned. And the island had abundant streams of fresh Water to make Holy!
The Spectacular Money Tree
The team worked day and night, setting up one, single money tree, and focusing all their minds on it, to make it as bountiful and splendid as possible. And indeed, their efforts paid off handsomely. The tree was so resplendent, it only produced hundred dollar bills. But the men were shocked and delighted to learn that it also produced one other type of thing - seeds! Within a few short months, the men had enough currency to live like kings back in America, and in that time two more money trees had spontaneously grown to maturity. These new trees also produced only hundred dollar bills, and seeds. The men, somewhat homesick, and also desirous of helping their friends and associates back in the States, set out to return to America, and share their secret with only a chosen few, while becoming benefactors to their town. Their trip home went smoothly.
The Island Is Left To Develop
Back in America, the team created a map and instructions for how to return to the Island of the Money Tree. For some inexplicable reason, they themselves never went back! Some believe their fortunes were so large that there was no need, and that the good they were able to accomplish in America outweighed any possible gain from collecting more currency from the island. But according to the story, decades later, a man discovered the map and the instructions hidden away in a lockbox, in an abandoned building scheduled for demolition. The man was able to open the box, retrieve the contents, and later read the guide for how to get to the island. Supposedly he set out to go there, and was successful! But what he found is the most incredible part of all. There weren't just three money trees any more. The island was completely packed with money trees! Hundreds upon hundreds, each like the last, producing only hundred dollar bills, and seeds.
It's Up To You
Apparently, that man was the only visitor to the island since the original team of explorers. It should now be clear to you that there is another means of acquiring a top-notch money tree, and all the wealth it can produce. If you can find the map and guide, and use them to reach the island, your financial troubles will be over, forever! All you'd need to collect from the island is a handful of money tree seeds...
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The information presented should not be relied upon as accurate or true.
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